Final Thoughts on My Thailand Journey: Top 10 List

A Look Back: Final Thoughts and Reminders

This ends my journey to Thailand. After spending 10 days in this crazy but amazing country, I have come up with a list of 10 truths/warnings for those planning a trip.

10. Make sure to look both ways at least five times when crossing the road in Bangkok. Red Lights don’t mean anything!!!

9. Never pay more than $5 (200Bot) for a 1hr massage. If you do, you got ripped off! “Massages with Relief” do occur, but not without asking and it cost a little extra!

8. Don’t worry about cleaning your pockets, water bottles, laptops or anything like that in the airports. Everything flies with the Thai people. Security is on the honor system

7. EVERY conversation should begin with a small bow, hands in prayer position and a long drawn out “Sah du we caup” (Good Day, good morning, best wishes, or whatever else you want it to mean).

6. The best shopping at the Chatuchak Weekend Market is found after you have gotten yourself lost, are pulling your hair out and just want to go home.

5. When you get in an automobile/Tuk Tuk/motorcycle in Thailand and request a specific destination, realize that this may not be the destination that you go to or there may be a few stops on the way.

4. If you go into a pub and all the tables seem to be “reserved”, there is NOT a special event going on. This just means that the tables are exclusively for a guy and his “purchased” girlfriend. Going along with this it must be pointed out that these girls may not have always been girls!

3. Stay away from the street vendor food. It’s like a box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get!

2. Whenever someone says that men and women are equal in this world, just tell them to take a trip to Thailand or the Middle East. (Your Welcome Girls!!!)

1. There are no set prices. EVERYTHING is negotiable. This even goes for entry fees to parks, food, tourist trips, souvenirs, etc. Also, it’s funny how the cost of things seems to rise for White American Tourists!!! Kind of makes you go hmmmmmm!!!

Thailand Journey: Phuket Part 2 Jan 1-2

Monday Jan 1st: Game Time



The alarm rang and the day had come for me to tell my story. A short swim in the ridiculously nice pool relaxed me followed by breakfast and the surprising news of the bombings in the exact place we had been in Bangkok just days before. This didn’t rattle me though. I put my game face on performed in the clutch with a homerun speech that hopefully inspired all and that will put a few bucks in the C Different bank account.



From that point on the pressure was off and so we took the opportunity and hit one of the other pools. This one was called the Eternity Pool and I could definitely sit by this one forever. This pool had a wet bar in pool, lotus flowers floating in pots and walls that had been transformed into waterfalls. These were the perfect conditions to bake in the blazing hot sun and enjoy more service from the ridiculously nice Thai people.
In the afternoon, we checked another item off our “to do” list and headed deep into the jungle to an elephant training center to take a ride on one of the massive beasts.


The elephant we rode who’s name I can not pronounce thundered down the beaten path taking stops at her leisure to snag some leaves with her trunk. The elephant trainer tried to keep her on task but you can’t stop a 1,500lb beast. Upon returning, we took a basket full of food and fed the hungry thing. With her trunk she snatched whole bananas, sugar cane sticks and watermelon from our hands. She was a human garbage disposal. We later found out the thing eats over 120lbs of food a day. I wish I could do that!

We returned to the JW for one last hurrah. There was a white party to close out the YPO conference. This party was held at the last remaining pool and when we got there it was like something straight from the Barbie Dream edition set. There were these white stages with corner posts rising from each corner and white sheets draped to connect each corner. Then of course there was like a 10 course meal to follow.


The night was capped off by launching white fire lanterns filled with our 2007 hopes and wishes into the nigh sky. This Thai tradition nearly became a disaster as some of them began heading for the trees. Evidently, these little devices can become quite the problem for planes and they told us that the airport was temporarily delaying flights just so we could observe this Northern Thailand tradition. These claims were a little extreme but for the JW I wouldn’t put it out of the question.


Tuesday Jan 2nd: Back to Reality
4am wake up and off to the airport. Liz and I had our own double decker bus to run around and play in. It was one of the longest days of my life, capped off by driving straight to class upon arrival at the Seattle airport.

Thailand Journey: Bankok Part ! Dec 22-24

Friday Dec 22nd: And Were Off
We arrived at LAX plenty early and just in time to watch a group of Muslims facing west to perform their prayer ritual right smack dab in the middle of the airport. From then on I knew this was gonna be an interesting trip.
The plane was 18hrs long and consisted of me sleeping and hogging all of Liz’s space. When we got to Bangkok, Thailand we found our car man had left us, no one spoke a lick of English and every wall was filled with a bunch of gibberish writing (pretty but not useful). We hired someone else who insisted his hybrid car would solve all of Bangkok’s pollution problems and headed for the Rembrandt hotel. When we stepped out of the car the odor was pungent but come to find out that was normal.

Sunday Dec 24th: Complete Chaos
Sunday started with an amazing breakfast topped off with some coffee that would blow Starbucks out of the water (Sorry Seattle).
From there we made our way to Chatuchak Weekend Market which as we later saw was more than a market and closer resembled a full fledged circus occurring simultaneously with the New Year’s Eve ball drop in Times Square.
On our way we met a rare honest Thai man and braved the dangerous experience of a Tuk Tuk ride in Bangkok. We also stopped for some swanky custom tailored clothes at a very good price.

Finally at the market, we dove right into the chaos, and I do mean chaos. This 30acre Salvation Army is a bargain shopper’s paradise. From shirts priced at 100 Bot ($2.50) to silk blankets and pillow cases at 300 Bot ($9) this place had it all. We started off in the clothing and weaved through a few aisles before gasping for a breath of semi-fresh air. A few trends kept popping up as we wandered. First, pants for those 5ft 6in and higher are hard to find. Second, the Bangkok FDA seems to allow food to be cooked and eaten in areas around clothes, furniture, dogs, squirrels, rats, millions of people and the list goes on. Thirdly, bathrooms are hard to come by so be thankful when you find one. The first 3hrs at this circus was crazy but what we didn’t know was that we were in for a major shock. The next few hours included a mixture of horror, humor and disbelief. A man with a push cart filled with a mixture of fried worms, grasshoppers, and crickets set up shop next to the grilled squid and chicken stand. Stray dogs and cats wondered around looking for any scraps they could as we wondered looking for the way out of this never ending maze.
Just when we thought we had seen it all, we stumbled upon the live animal section. There were cute puppies, rabbits, turtles, fish, squirrels, rats, hamsters and much much more.

The use of these live animals is not totally known but with a little imaginative thinking you may be able to figure it out. When are bags were nearly ready to explode we took to the subway

Thailand Journey: Phuket Part 1 Dec 30-31

Saturday Dec 30th The Promise Land
Early in the morning we made our way to the Promise Land, the JW Marriot in Puhket. When mentioning to a taxi driver that we would be staying at the JW he nearly swerved off the road and pissed his pants. I sometimes exaggerate a little but when I say this is a prime example of “Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous” this is an understatement. Thinking back on it I did see the resort on the show less than a year ago.
As we pulled up to the majestic masterpiece one would have thought we were the President. Armed guards surrounded and searched the car. Right away I knew this was no Super 8.



Marble pillars, reflection pools, waterfalls, Zen gardens and jungle landscaping littered this palace. Our room you ask? Rose pedals in the bathtub, an orchid on each pillow, a meditation area, even the Kleenex was in the shape of flowers.

We were hungry and had to choose from one of 5 restaurants on this ridiculous plantation. The male dominant trend continued as the table read “Mr. Oakes” and Liz’s credit card always ended up in my hand to sign.

This resort was flawless. The staff to visitor ratio was nearly 4:1. The main pool was over 100m long and had big elephant statues shooting water from their trunks, water massage beds, and hundreds of perfectly aligned lounge chairs and a personal pool attendant to give you anything you may want. A few of these services included ice water, cold towels, water spritzers, food, beverages, pineapple and watermelon with the rines cut off (who does that?). Just before dinner we caught the nightly fire show that includes drums, Thai dancers and ends with a man spitting a fireball from his mouth.

Sunday Dec 31st Bringing in the New Year
New Year’s Eve began with a run along the pristine white beach. Oddly enough as I was strolling along I look to my right and what do I see but a pair of elephants flapping their ears and swimming in the water. I thought to myself, “only in Thailand”. After this interesting run we began our business at the YPO conference by listening to Michael McManus for whom the movie BLOW was based upon. My nerves rose as I scoped out my speaking location and surveyed my audience.

These people were millionaires. One guy speaks with George W. Bush on a weekly basis (not that he is anyone special or anything) and another guy was one of the leading experts in Cancer research. If they didn’t own Fortune 500 companies they did something equivalent. Liz and I felt a little out of place because we were, so we just enjoyed the pausch lifestyle while it lasted. Before I knew it I would be back to the lifestyle of a poor college student.
The nighttime festivities included a buffet that nearly covered a football field, an electrifying stage and music from the Pink Flamingos, elephant shaped ice sculpture sweating puddles on the pavement and of course women “blinging” with huge rocks around their neck and fingers. Liz and I decided to watch the spectacle from a huge luxurious lounger we found and sipped on tasty Mojitos until the midnight hour approached.




As that time came we staked out our spot on the beach to watch the fireworks and drink champagne to ring in the new year. Unfortunately, the night didn’t end how I would of liked with a new lady friend to give smooches to. I settled for a friendly kiss from Liz and then headed in for a restless and anxiety filled night of sleep.

Thailand Journey: The Jungle Dec 29

Friday Dec 29th: The Wild
Yet another 6:30am wake up call and another day trip. All of our day trips seemed to begin with a long ride in a truck that was filled to capacity. When I say capacity, I don’t mean there were just enough seat belts. I mean people hanging off the back by nothing more than a small handle. One sharp turn and they were gone. These trucks were exactly like the ones used to transport illegals and in fact I think they served a dual purpose when tourist season is over. (i.e. this picture is an example of the illegal mobilles NOT an example of how many people they packed in them.)

This day turned out to be one of my favorite. This may be due to the fact that everyone in our group spoke English but also because they were crazy people just like ourselves. The group consisted of two Englanders severely hung over from the night before, a Frenchman that smoked cigarettes and drank coffee like it was his last day living and a Thai tour guide that we later found out was a “Lady man”.

The agenda for the day included trekking through 1ft deep mud, kayaking through the Mangrove Forests running on the beach with hundreds of wild monkeys and of course PICTURES!!!




The shear beauty of the jungle was amazing. The return trip back included a fierce race between the group. We were determined to win. After all we couldn’t let Frenchie (as he later became known) and the beer guzzling English beat us. We were athletes.
Lunch awaited us and it was another Thai meal with a kick. Following lunch we went to a spring fed river to swim and got an education on the fabrication of latex from trees.


Later that night we snuck Frencie into our hotel dinner buffet with the clause that he would go along with me to scope out the process of buying a girlfriend at a local Carioca bar.

Now of course all of you that know me know that I was really just there for curiosity and not any favors. I did have one interesting and eye catching experience that night but I will spare the details.

Thailand Journey: Krabi and Phi Phi Islands Dec 27-28

Wednesday Dec 27th: A Day to Relax for Some


The fourth day of the trip market a day of rest for Liz but time for Aaron to get down to business. After all this trip was not all fun and games. I had 4 days to perfect my speech. I would be speaking to some of the most renounced and wealthy people in the world and I wasn’t messing this chance up. Half the day went by though and all I had managed to do was frustrate myself more. To rid this frustration I did what any blind kid would do and went for a run alone through the uneven and cluttered streets of Thailand. I got chased by a stray dog but I out ran him. The rest of the day was uneventful except for the wild alligator that Liz spotted jumping into the murky water below the bridge to which we stood. The chaos was catching up to us and we were out by 10pm.

Thursday Dec 28th: Birthday Surprises
Another early wake up large buffet started off this morning. This morning was special though. It was Liz’s Bday and that called for a little surprise of roses and a Happy Birthday Lic (they don’t spell good) wish written in Thai.
We had a special trip planned to the Phi Phi islands.


These islands are some of the most beautiful in the world but were also the major destruction zone of the tragic tsunami that killed over 100,000 people. This day trip gave us a small taste of everything from snorkeling, feeding monkeys, gawking at the world’s beauty and the island that Leonardo Dicaprio made famous in “The Beach”. The scares of this day included nearly getting bit by a 4ft. long sea snake, causing Liz to nearlyto have a mental breakdown when I ventured away in snorkeling and a race for my camera that involved hundreds of nibbles of my flesh from hungry fish.




One more potentially dangerous situation arose when the jagged rocks lining the beach made my poor feet prime meat for shark bate. The top humor moment of the day came when our new French friend asked us to explain the difference in pronunciation of “the beach” vs. “the bitch”.

The highlights of the day besides the obvious beach paradise were the ALWAYS kind Thai people and the astonishing lack of reminants of the tsunami. The islands looked untouched to me.
The boat ride back to Krabi got a little rough. I felt like I was having a 30min seizure. Luckily, we survived the rough waters and returned to the hotel just to head out again, this time for a little Bday dinner for Liz with the new friends we had met. The restaurant was mighty tasty and had a fish display with Tiger prongs nearly a foot long.

A Mai Thai or two later we practiced our bargaining skills once again, this time for a ride home. We got a 30min cab ride 125Bot ($3.50).

Thailand Journey: Bankok Part 2 Dec 25-26

Monday Dec 25th: A Different Type of Christmas
Our Christmas experience was a little different than most. The hotel was filled with Xmas trees, little Thai girls running around with Santa Clause hats and a man attempting to sing Xmas carols but not doing so hot. With 90% of the country consisting of Buddhists, it didn’t really feel like Christmas. We just accepted this fact and went on our way.

The day’s agenda was to visit the Grand Temple and see all of its beauty. In the end we saw much more than that. The craziness began when we fell for the biggest trick in the book when a tour guide “look a like” told us that the temple was closed until 1pm and we should go see other sites. We boarded the tuk tuk and from there the driver took us on a wild goose hunt, stopping randomly at places for “himself” to get commission. Although he did take us to an amazing 30ft high standing Buddha and many other beautiful temples, he also sped down alleyways, insisted on buying jewelry and clothes and couldn’t understand why we didn’t want to go to his dumb little stores.
After two hours of this, we returned to the Grand Temple to find out that it was never really closed. The temple was composed of numerous temples in one complex. Hand drawn artwork covered the outer walls of the complex. Thrones surrounded by Buddha and covered in gold plating or gold leaf and mirrored glass and gemstones (all mixed). Huge statues looking like guards or some sort of armed Gargoyle protected the temples.

It felt a little weird entering the temples, not knowing the rules. Just an FYI if you ever go into a Buddhist temple you must take off your shoes, wear long pants and shirt and never let your feet face the Buddha statue.
Next on our agenda was the search for the famous Reclining Buddha. This trip became an hour long mission with more than one local telling us that the site was closed for a Thai ceremony. But…. We had learned from our past mistakes and didn’t listen this time…. We surged forward and found the 40+ft. long sleeping beauty.
From there we hit yet another of the 1001 Places to See before You Die, the Oriental Hotel. Our stay was short due to the outrageous prices, and the fact that we were starving, but the place was perfect; garden flowers hanging from the ceiling, strings of lights decking the halls. It smelled like paradise with a little scent of money.
Next we headed toward Siam Paragon Mall to check out the shopping there. It’s enormous and was filled with stores like Gucci and Channel and D&G. I did snag one pair of awesome Italian jeans that may fool some but impress others.
Christmas night was far from familylike as we hit up another $5 Thai massage and ate at Cabbages and Condoms where condoms are everywhere except in the food. The purpose of the restaurant is ingenious with its emphasis on cultural support by protecting the tribes in the outskirts by giving them education, birth control and medicine. The restoration programs raise money for many Thai villages and programs.
From there I found out that subway cookies just aren’t the same like the states and then headed toward our room to hit the sack.

Tuesday December 26th: Where the Thai Really Live
An early 6:30am wake up and a 9am car service pick-up and we were off for another days adventures… this time, the Floating Markets of Thailand. Things were a bit different outside Bangkok with rice patties lining the roads and air just a little big cleaner.
Once at the market we jumped in a long boat and sped off down the narrow canals dodging boat after boat and being bombarded by yet more market sellers.
These ones were a little different. From the sides of their village homes they sold all types of hand made goods and fruits, desperately trying to make ends meet. The heartbreak of going away empty handed showed on their faces and nearly brought tears to my eyes.
We bargained like we were broke but the time came to say goodbye. We also took the opportunity to wrap a few pythons around our necks for giggles and pics.
On to the ZOO…. A different kind of zoo for sure…. This was no American set-up. This was closer to Jumangi. Elephants roamed with their babies or guides up and down the entry sidewalks. Bangle tigers sat patiently as Liz made their backs her throne.
Crocks you ask? Oh Yes. hundreds. Even shows where crock tamers risked their heads and their arms for the pleasure of the crowd.
Lastly. We found the monkeys anxious for a tasty treat. Trying to Americanize the monkey the crazy vendor lady insisted that we feed them Lays potato chips. The Trans fat was just too high and instead we went with the nutritious baby banana.

Time ticked down and we rushed out of the park just to find our driver MIA and delaying our journey to Paradise. At the airport we found out that security was not what it is in the US. The removal of fire arms before boarding is on the “honor system” and bag checks are brief.
We checked into the Maritime Krabi late but needed some food and so we got dinner and watched the live concert that was nothing short of horrible. Don’t know who told the Thai women they could sing like Madonna and Prince but they were wrong. At least she was hot!